My Foolishness, HIS Holiness

Perhaps the moment I truly knew Jesus deeply loved me and longed for me was when I was 17. I had been living like an utter heathen, simply disgraceful! One day while with my friend we returned to her home and there I met a woman who looked extremely familiar. I could not recall who she was; but she was Mrs. Brown, Jamie’s grandmother. My memories rushed to me back from when I was 5 years old. I was in my Sunday school class with Mrs. Brown and Mrs. Brown. This was the Mrs. Brown who led me to Jesus! I felt Jesus inside me and realized He had been there all along; my wonderful, merciful Savior had never left me! I felt a love I could not explain or even begin to understand. Although I was not completely on the right track after that moment, I was now determined to try. After turning 18, I moved in with my aunt and uncle, 6 hours from home. I knew my sinful ways were deeply engrained within me, but I was finally listening to the voice I had worked so hard to ignore.

At age 23, married and living in another state I began to read the Bible starting in James. With my heart, eyes, and ears open I read James 4:17, “For he who knows the good he ought to do and does not do it, to him it is a sin.” These words pierced my heart and although they may not sound like a love note to you, they sure were to me! I finally realized, through this verse, that Jesus had more in store for my life and it was more than I could ever imagine. This verse serenaded the deepest parts of my soul. Even though I was completely clueless to His plans, that verse shook something deep within me. Then in my foolishness, I began to create my mental check list of do’s and don’ts. The epitome of a goody two shoes I would be; furthermore, I became a stark contrast to the heathen at the beginning of this story. Now I knew beyond all doubt that “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness” as stated in 2 Timothy 3:16. Jesus had my attention and my all, finally. My good and bad checklist seemed to working for me or was it? I thought back to lining up the neighborhood boys when I was in 4th grade and telling them how their language would send them to the “bad place.” There seems to have been a Pharisee in the making and my checklist needed to go. In total grace and love for me, my Jesus inoculated my Pharisaical ways and set me free. I now realized that a check list was not on His list of desires for my life, but a heart full of devotion was.

Even as late as yesterday, I stand amazed over the Word of God and His people. I learned from Joni Eareckson Tada that I can borrow the Savior’s smile when I cannot seem to find mine. Beth Moore posted on her blog to for her readers to pray for her since she was to speak from 2 Corinthians 3-5 this week. In order to pray specifically, I opened my Bible and began to read, while relishing every word, I found something new that caused my soul to shudder. I discovered that my soul is a letter! In verse 2, Paul tells his readers that they are a letter, “You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody.” This struck me to the innermost! Our souls are letters about the cross, the empty tomb, and a living breathing walking talking testimony of our Wonderful, Merciful Savior. I need nothing else to fall for on the face of this earth. I have no need of cupid’s arrows or love potion #9 when I have the Word of God, the scent of Jesus, and His Holiness to cover up my foolishness.