Have you ever walked to the edge of something and had that overwhelming fear you may jump or fall or be easily blown over the edge by the wind? This is how it is when we walk too closely to temptation; one gentle push and we are in. Is it a sin to be tempted? I don't think temptation is a sin because clearly Christ was without sin yet He was "tempted". On the other hand it could be sin to see just how close to the edge you can get before you breech "your idea" of falling into sin. I know I have to ask myself if I am too close for comfort with anything in my life. No matter how gray we may think something is, it is not our perception that matters in the end. Plainly said, "It's not about us."
What is the Holy Spirit? - Is it that still small voice? You know the one that is speaking to you when you have taken that one step "too close ". If you can feel the heat of the sin then it is very likely you are too close. The phrase coined by a popular TV show comes to mind....DANGER DANGER DANGER.... MY CHILD...Falling into temptation creates an unwanted wall between you and the Father. This I know. Even if it is nursing wounds, not supporting others, pulling away when you could be needed most, or truly anything can be a sin to us who know HIM.
So, who are we to measure the gravity of sin? We can't do it, we shouldn't do it; we are not qualified to do it. Which is most definitely why the Word tells us that He desires mercy over sacrifice. Hosea 6:6; Matthew 9:13 & 12:7. And our obedience is greatly rewarded! Go read Hosea in its entirety if you doubt this.
Our Heavenly Father wants us to obey Him and be givers of the SAME Mercy He has bestowed upon us. I know that when I have not done one or both I am in direct sin against my Father. Not to mention the fact that I would also be out of fellowship with Him in a way that I would not care to ever repeat.
See I have most definitely failed to share "my story" because I know how unforgiving people can be about the smallest things and if they knew all I had been through both willingly or unwillingly then it could cause more hurt. So if I were to share my story with my church family they might they not see the free woman I know I am in HIM. It is likely some would while others would not. Isn't it "the others" that keep us from obedience way too often? I would likely feel judged and rejected. I don't need help in that area do you? So I stay quiet. I am not saying that if your WHOLE testimony isn't public then you are in sin but what I am saying is that staying silent when beckoned to speak is just as bad as speaking when beckoned to be silent.
So what counters these feelings in us?
First of all what helps me to counter these feelings is to relinquish control over them to the Lord. When I quit trying to figure it out He usually brings, no always brings, me relief from whatever is oppressing me and shows me HIS way.
Next, when I pray, which should be first but when we are out of fellowship because our "self" is in the way it is very hard to pray. But first and without ceasing pray for yourself as well as others.
Another thing that helps me to live free is to ask for the Lord to use me and whatever the circumstance to His glory and not my own. This can bring one to mixed feelings but I am certain the rewards are mostly eternal for this one. If you have ever prayed, "No matter what it takes Lord....." You know those feelings.
I have learned first hand that most people are trapped by the "name it claim it" and the "smooth = God must be doing it" theories. There are times when things fall into place and you know that you know that you know it is HIM but there are other times when the powers of darkness and principalities aim to cause you to look at others instead of Him. (this is for those who step away because of personal preference instead of truly seeking where HE wants them.) But also simply realize that being trapped by either theory and not by God's will causes us to be out of step with Him, period.
If I have learned anything in my very very short time in ministry, it is that it is not easy and sometimes there are more thorns than rose blooms in this garden called life. I mean think about it the rose bush does not bloom all year long does it?
When you choose to follow & support someone based upon your preference then you could be missing out on a blessing or causing another to do miss it. I do honestly try to not have people "just like me" in my life because without them my quality of life would be so much less. God sends different leaders, friends, and acquaintances into our lives to help us to look more like HIS Son. If it is true that "iron sharpens iron" then having people that suit us or are just like us in our life leaves a lot to be desired.
I have had to learn not to walk away when I did not fully agree with a leader. It was hard but the reward was HUGE and beautiful! On a scale of "directness" I am about a 6 1/2 because there are times and days when frustration has tempted me and I failed, where my directness is a blooming 10. Then there are days when it is a 3; so a 6 1/2 is fair in my opinion. But see I have a hard time dealing with those who are always a 10 or always under a 3 or 4. I am certain that my up and down regarding it is equally as frustrating which is why I encourage you to hang in there - IT - IS - WORTH - IT. We are all unique and we all have a calling from our Father. We all have a gift and we need to quit throwing out barbed wire where another's calling is concerned. I have most recently seen it hurt someone whom I have come to love. Which leads me to another thing.....
Get over being falsely accused. This one was/is/was/is (seeeee) really really hard for me. God had to dig deep inside me for my trust to be fully and totally on Him alone. I nearly lost EVERYTHING on the earth - no really, honestly, truly almost everything! I would list it but some of it is not my testimony. By His Grace, The ONE who was steady and stable in my life was the LORD (all caps a must here). Him and HIM alone.
See, I have always been a hopeful (hopefilled) person but had/have so much more to learn about faith. I have a card I keep in my car that says, "When Jesus is ALL you have you realize HE is ALL you need." I have lived this perhaps not for the last time but lived it I have. I have been talked about in my church regarding areas of which I had not been involved. People have assumed things about me yet only one person has ever asked me my heart on things. ONE person. But she is not the defending the defenseless type so still I have felt that when falsely accused NO ONE has had my back. (no this is not recent I just felt led to share for whoever may be reading that I know how hard this is). I really do.
So what am I trying to say in all of this??????
HANG IN THERE BABY!
Hang in there with all your might. Do not lean on your own understanding you will be wrong! We are warned for a reason not to reason with & for ourselves or even others. But Lean On HIM when you're not strong. He may be the only friend but it won't be long..You get the picture.
Do support others yet Biblically check the leadership's words and activities in your church. Support them as you would a little brother or sister, well maybe not quite like it because you know the saying, "Only I can say that but you can't!" How about this dont' say it at all. With every negative encounter refute it with what the church is doing right. When leaders change step up and ask how you can help. If they don't take your help then you did what you could. Afterall it is up to the Lord to show them and remember they are people too and could very well be making team choices by preference and opinion or heaven forbid gossip.
Even still, we must work with those with whom we may not always agree....do you know why? Because Iron Sharpens Iron and if you are not willing to be that then you are missing out on a huge area of discipleship, fellowship, and perhaps even the whole ship! You could be headed for a ship wreck. If preferences and opinions drive you then you know it is NOT the Holy Spirit. Yes I said it, and yes it is a big huge ouch, but it is oh so true. If one thing causes you to quit something (even if it is a person) then you likely weren't in it for the right reason anyway.
Am I preaching here? Maybe, but it is most definitely from the perspective of been there failed that. Trust me hang in there. Now do not apply self seeking guilt where the Holy Spirit has not rendered you to your knees because I know that each must be brought to it by Him. But do carefully consider the edges you approach each day. Are you too close? Do you feel the heat?
Guard your heart and your mind. And remember there may very well be more thorns than roses in THIS garden of life and it's seasonal, but looky here:
Without all this: Isaiah 1:30, "For you shall be as a terebinth whose leaf fades, And as a garden that has no water." NKJV
With it: Isaiah 58:11, "The LORD will guide you continually, And satisfy your soul in drought, And strengthen your bones; You shall be like a watered garden, And like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail." NKJV
Quite a bit of what I am sharing here comes from personal experience while it is personal it is not private. I am not alone in some of these things. Some of this came from personal conviction after hearing Pastor Chuck Swindoll speak on Romans 14, Insight on Romans The Christians Constitution part 2 and pdf file #35 notes. (Click on Message Mates to see the file.)
So I personally challenge you to take a long hard look at Romans 14. See verse 5, we must brought to conviction from Him on our own. Take a very close look at verses 13, 15, 19, & 22. The chapter talks about food but really it speaks of love!
Verse 5: One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind.
Verse 13: Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.
Verse 15: If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died.
Verse 19-21: 19Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.
Verse 22: So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves.
And when someone doesn't understand your convictions and actually judges you for it loving show them this:
Verse 14: As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean.
Always remember that you do not have to wear yourself out defending yourself. Only Christ is the defender of the defenseless see Psalm 5:11 in the NKJV as the Psalmist cries out to the Lord,
"But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; Let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them;
Let those also who love Your name Be joyful in You."
Abiding Still,
Chel
