Tuesday, April 7, 2015

A Movable Mountain

A couple of Tuesday nights ago I decided to enjoy the night air and take my dog for a walk. Then with one look toward my possible future, I was immediately struck with despair. I felt as if my life had suddenly crashed down around me for good. The view that had once given me peace and serenity now appeared as an awful obstruction. My future was like a mountain whose terrain was altered overnight. I had zero energy left to finish my climb and even less hope of ever seeing what was on the other side. Feelings of abandonment and betrayal began to consume me; all my hopes felt as if they had been thrown from its peak. This mountain had been created upon deep love, friendship, and a lot of promises. It offered all the happiness I had longed for my entire adult life, but now the face of it had changed forever.

When I lived in Arizona, I experienced my first true betrayal. Last night I realized that Arizona was the place that yet another betrayal would develop. Sometimes I wish the following song were true: 

"There Ain't No Arizona."

If there was
A grand canyon

She could fill it up with the lies he's told her

But they don't exist

Those dreams he sold her

She'll wake up and find

There is no Arizona

(Might I also add, the devil may have gone to Georgia looking for a soul to steal, but he went to Arizona and struck up a few deals!)

My time living in Arizona had presented an expedition to climb a mountain which required experienced climbers. Unfortunately, that was a climb from which my marriage would never recover. About a year ago Arizona introduced a similar expedition, this time I had experience. I thought it would help.

When the journey began I was not alone. Two of us prepared by gearing up to climb this mountain together with determination. We did not seek to merely survive but to bring both our hopes to fruition. Surely I felt that the monsoons and falling rocks were nothing compared to what we would receive upon completion. To me, it seemed worth every step. What we were experiencing was purely circumstantial and we would not and should not be taken down by a few detours or storms. But as storms can do, they began to greatly alter our path and the mountain's terrain. All the experience, equipment, and expectations were proven to be less than adequate.Then the two of us began to slip and slip fast. We both made mistakes but the betrayal I would eventually realize would be equal to a second fall. However, this fall would be from a higher height and from a much different terrain. I had not been 100% sure that I would be able survive.

Yet here I am, dressed with fresh bandages from the appropriate medical care. While I had fallen from a great height, I did not fall all the way to my impending death. Through my loving care givers and the ultimate Care Giver, I have begun to realize that now I can finally see! Unbeknownst, to me, my mountain had begun to move! It occurred to me that I was rescued and would not have to continue this second climb. This reveals that His Word is true: He moves mountains without their knowing it and overturns them with His anger. (Job 9:5) 

You see, even if you have very little faith, you can say to the mountain MOVE and it will be moved! (paraphrased from Matthew 17:20) I had prayed that my ties would be released from this second climber who had left me alone with inadequate equipment while he continued his climb. Having been filled with a vision of my next resting point I was willing to continue. One of my true sisters and care giver related the story of the Lone Survivor to me. She explained that as these Seals journeyed to the next peak where they would find communication abilities for rescue. Upon arrival they quickly realized the plateau was false and it would lead the remaining survivor, the Lone Survivor, to journey the treacherous terrain alone. Make no mistake, I am no Marcus Luttrell or Navy Seal. But I know first hand what it feels like to be the lone survivor in a relationship, the one that put hope in the next spot only to find that it was false.

I still have a lot more to say about my expedition and the mountains I have had before me, but I will save it for another day. For now I leave you with this: When I began that second climb it was done with and FOR THE LOVEFear, Offense, Rejection, Tears, Helplessness, Emotion, Loneliness, Oppression, Vulnerability, Emptiness. But now that I can finally see, it is still going to be done with and FOR THE LOVE from a proper view point through: Faith, Optimism, Redemption, Thankfulness, Hope, Expectation, Love, Openness, Victory, Enthusiasm! Having experienced this climb before it was my belief that I had the proper perspective and expectation to safely make this journey.

It is my hope that you too may find healing in this and be able to see that mountains can actually be moved. Please stay with me as I continue to reveal what I have been shown on my journey, and as I look forward to the healing while embracing the care.

For His Glory,

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The Best Drip Beef Evah!

3 lb pot roast

3 T beef bouillon granules

2 tsp garlic powder (or to taste)

2 T of dried oregano (I like to cover the meat with it.)

2 bay leaves

2 cups of water (I usually add more to cover the entire roast.)

Earthgrains  Sour Dough/French rolls (Haven't been able to find these in my area for a while)

Large roasting pan

***NOTE - bouillon is salty - do not add salt until it is done then do it to taste.

Place roast in pan cover sprinkle the meat with the oregano. Dissolve the bouillon granules in 2 cups of water.  Sprinkle the garlic powder over the meat.  Fill roasting pan up with enough water to cover the entire roast.  Cover with lid or foil and bake roast in oven at 225 or 250 for approximately 5 hours.  Make sure meat is tender enough to shred with a fork, then remove and cool.  Once meat has cooled enough to be handled, shred the meat, remove fat, and serve with toasted french sour dough rolls.  Use the aju for dipping your sandwich. (The sandwiches will drip hence the name...DRIP BEEF.) spice trick:  if you don’t want the oregano and bay leaves in the aju then place them in a coffee filter and secure with a rubber band. Remove prior to serving.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

revised from Christmas 2009 - Quietly....

Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. Matthew 1:19 (NIV)

A new twist for marriages, Christian marriages that is, lies most delicately within the cleft of this truth. Imagine your marriage was plagued with the trappings of today: adultery, selfishness, denial, envy, strife…you get the idea. Now, in light of these problematic circumstances you realize you just cannot hold up under the pressure and decide to divorce.

Sad but true is this reality within our churches today. Our stats according to nearly every statistician reveal that the church is hanging in there not in perseverance instead with the world. Our rate of adultery, divorce, alcoholism, drug addiction, and downright pride and selfish ambition are unbelievable. Now, please know that I am not pointing fingers I have done my share of sinning and putting on my plastic face but I am truly astonished on how people who once loved one another are now lining the pews with all that is bad within them. Even in divorce the members of a church can be seen as vindictive and offensive as the lost. We seek justice in any form we can get and bring down the gavel at every moment possble. When looking into situation this way I see justification for our hurt not justice for the wrong doing.

I am not writing this to condemn anyone or reveal anything you do not already know but to shine the light on how this verse spoke to me….Because Joseph was a righteous man…he had in mind to divorce her quietly. This absolutely blew my mind! He knew the ramifications of her presumed “actions” and that it would end in her death by stoning. Most of us know by now that they, Mary and Joseph, were betrothed (engaged) and it would require a divorce to sever the relationship. We know that even at this point it was allowable to divorce in the event of adultery or sexual immorality; furthermore, if what Joseph initially assumed was true then he could divorce her legally. The problem with that is that there are few divorces that are quietly executed. I have not seen one in my lifetime; someone usually goes down in flames but both lose, all involved lose - when it is not done quietly.

But because Joseph was a righteous man he set out to divorce her quietly. Because Joseph was righteous he acted with intent. Now I don’t know about you but most divorces are not executed with the righteousness of the “other” person in mind. Most actions in a divorce are driven in response to what another person did or did not do; therefore, I can conclude that it is reasonable to respond to the actions of the other party. But is this really what Jesus intends for us to do?

I found the answer to that question nestled in Matthew 1:19. This is the truth behind an acronym for a delicious dessert the Lord gave me in the summer of 2003, FUDGE. Forgiveness Under Divine Guidance Everyday. Wow!! The delicate truth that was found in the cleft of this rock is very telling of what our “nature” as a believer, a righteous child of God should be. Living holy because HE is holy is best exposed when one is at their most vulnerable moment. We all have selfish moments, thoughts, and actions but when the rubber truly hits the proverbial road your character is unveiled. (sweet or bitter and sometimes with nuts!)

Jesus tells us to love our enemies because being kind to those who are kind to us is even done by unbelievers. What about being the most loving to those who hurt us or let us down? We place people on pedestals and are shocked when they fall or fail. Then our shock is what truthfully drives our response not the action of the person. I do not say that to relieve responsibility on the part of an offender but it is up to us how we respond to others. Joseph was in shock no doubt. He could have lashed out very easily. He could have run to her father and revealed her indiscretion but instead he measured HIS OWN righteousness and responded from that foundation.

If we have ever wondered what we could learn from Joseph or why he was specifically chosen to rear Jesus, then we now know. His faith was lived. His heart was exposed at one of the most vulnerable moments in history, yet he was discreet and humble even in his disappointment. Many men have been weighed, measured, and left wanting but Joseph shows us how picturesque the high road truly is.

I have a new respect for Joseph and a little more realizaton into the Sovereignty of our Holy Father.

Revised from Christmas 2009 and enjoy your FUDGE!

Monday, June 20, 2011

A Must-Have Recipe!

I promise you will enjoy this dip and you can use it as a base to make plenty of other mouth watering treats too!

 Mississippi Sin

A great appetizer recipe for a party or holiday gathering.


• 2 cups (8 oz) shredded cheddar cheese

• 1 package (8 oz) cream cheese, softened

• 1 1/2 cups sour cream

• 1/2 cup chopped cooked ham

• 1/3 cup chopped green chiles

• 1/3 cup chopped green onions

• 1/8 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

• 1 (1-lb) round loaf French bread


In mixing bowl, combine shredded cheese, cream cheese, sour cream, chopped ham, chile peppers, green onions, and Worcestershire sauce; stir until well blended. Set dip aside.

Cut a thin slice from top of bread loaf; set slice aside. Using a gentle sawing motion, cut vertically to, but not through, bottom of the loaf, 1/2 inch from the edge, to cut out center of bread. Lift out center of loaf; cut into 1-inch cubes and set aside. Fill hollowed bread loaf with the dip; cover with reserved top slice of bread loaf. Wrap reserved loaf with foil. Bake dip at 350° degrees for 1 hour. Serve with reserved bread cubes, crackers, or potato chips.

Makes about 4 cups of dip.

With Love,

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who's the Proudest Mom of ALL???

I AM!!! It's me!!!

Tonight my daughter is officially an East Central University Tiger GOLFER!!! Now obtaining an athletic scholarship is definitely something to be proud of but there is so much more and I. AM. HERE. TO. TELL. YOU all of it!

Here is a conversation I had with my son about my daughter tonight:

Me: I do not think she realizes how brave she is!
Reece: I don't think she knows how intimidating she is when she plays.
Me: Can you imagine in your Sophomore year dropping all that you know and picking up a new sport?
Reece: She just doesn't know how good she is!

Bottom line - My brave young lady at the age of 15 decided that Volleyball, Softball, and Cheerleading was no longer for her and she thought she might have a swagger or at least a little swing! (pun intended) She picked up a golf club and here we are today!

One very minor tidbit about me: I have two favorite colors, odd combo yes but they do not necessarily have to go together at the same time! I love purple and I love orange! My daughter is ORANGE now and my son has his sights on purple (TCU)! - and yes for golf too!

And for those of you who know me from my teenage years - I STILL HAVE AND FIT AND WEAR MY ORANGE ESPRIT SHOES!!! Now I have a great reason, cuz orange is gonna stay in season!
So now while the house is quiet, a gentle reminder of what is to come all too soon, I sit here to share this with you! Now to the nitty gritty - join me in my thoughts!

Can you remember when you were 15? How daring were you? I think I was in very stupid matters but not daring enough when it came to excelling.

When I first signed Sara into day care in Tulsa, Ok I would receive calls with statements like this:
Do you know that instead of playing "in" the doll house she climbs on it and jumps off?
Did you know that she can scale a tree like a monkey?
etc etc. That is my daughter - the Sky ISN'T A Limit at all!

So at 15 after years of cheering, softball, and volleyball she decides that she is going to play golf and obtain a scholarship. Ok, Sara - whatever you want to do you will have our full support!! Love Mom and Dad

So swing away she did, and swing, and swing, and swing. I would be remiss if I did not give credit where it is due.

My son Reece was already a member of the First Tee of Fort Worth (best chapter ever) and it was natural for Sara to do the same. After a few months she was already showing great signs of leadership and began to help younger beginners. They have given her many opportunities to grow not just in golf but in life skills through their 9 Core Values. You can check out the First Tee website for yourself.

Next, is her high school coach: Coach Richard Norman! You can see the pride is in his eyes as if she were his own granddaughter! He has allowed Sara to be Sara and she has grown through his undying dedication and encouragement!
By the way, ECU is his Alma mater!

And of course, last but not least, her dad. He has skipped sleep to be there for both the kids when I have to work. His tireless dedication will be appreciated even more in years to come when she has a child of her own and sees the sacrifice to help make dreams come true.

Well I am on cloud 9 tonight with pride for my daughter and praise for my FATHER!
The ultimate praise belongs to the Lord who equipped this child for this good work, which happens to be fun and paying for college! Great gifts have great benefits when used properly!

Go Sara Go! I can't wait to watch you grow just wish you did not have to go! If I was not so excited I would be a lot more upset about this! But with all the pride and love I can even muster I support you and I am your biggest fan! I love you baby girl!!!

Even in this Abiding Still,